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The X Factor 2016 week 3 live shows: Could Honey G's time be up? And what's with the new voting rules?
- In the third week of X Factor live shows, the acts tackled songs by "divas and legends"
- Judge Nicole Scherzinger out-shone them all when she opened the show with her own diva medley
- Honey G gets standing ovation from the judges for her very loose interpretation of Under Pressure
- 5 After Midnight and Ryan Lawrie could be at risk of elimination after getting mediocre reviews from panel
Honey G has reached her expiry date
The Honey G joke - and we still don't know who's pulling the strings on it - has gone on far, far too long. Tonight the unconvincing rapper ostensibly covered David Bowie and Queen's Under Pressure, but actually just honked her way through Ice Ice Baby by that well-known one hit wonder diva/legend Vanilla Ice.
The judges gave it a standing ovation, but their comments were completely transparent, almost all of them banging on about how Honey G is the most talked about act on the show. Sure she is - because she's awful. But their love of publicity and, therefore, ratings knows no bounds. The trouble is, people are obviously voting for her - or at least have been until now.
Daring to touch a song by legends so close to so many people's hearts was a risky move - and we hope it puts some people off from voting for her. Because whether you're offended by her cultural appropriation, feel sorry for her for being thrown to the wolves by X Factor or merely think she's totally rubbish, surely you agree that it's just not funny anymore...
Viewers furious as Dermot O'Leary announces changes to voting system
Viewers can now vote for their favourite contestant before they've even performed, Dermot suddenly informed us moments into Saturday's episode. Is that even fair? Surely that gives a massive advantage to those singing first. And there we were thinking that this was a talent show and not a popularity contest...
Nicole Scherzinger steals everybody's thunder
It's common for X Factor judges with a sideline in singing to get a promo spot on the Sunday night results show, but this simply isn't enough for Nicole Scherzinger. Since the night's divas theme was Nicole all over, she opened the show with her very own diva medley.
It was pretty impressive stuff - some people, mainly Nicole herself, might even say it was Schermazing - but Simon Cowell accused her of spending too much time perfecting her own act and not enough time mentoring her two remaining acts. It didn't do Matt Terry any harm, but he's basically untouchable; however Ryan Lawrie did seem to struggle - his version of Adele's Rolling In The Deep wasn't remotely memorable.
But as long as Nicole had a good time, eh?
The theme was interpreted very, very loosely
Tonight's song theme was supposed to be "divas", so we were a little confused when Dermot O'Leary referred to it as "divas and legends" early on in the show. But it all made sense as the performances rolled on - clearly some of the acts couldn't or wouldn't do the diva thing, so instead were given songs more suited to their preferred genres.
And we don't just mean Honey G. Sam Lavery put her rockular vocal leanings to Michael Jackson's Earth Song, dividing the panel (but whether you liked it or hated it, it definitely stood out more than if she'd just been another girl singing a Mariah song) and Gifty Louise showed a more emotional side by singing a Sam Smith song.
Some of the acts were a little more faithful to the theme - Emily Middlemas gave Whitney's How Will I Know a "John Lewis Christmas advert" vibe (thank you, Louis Walsh, your review was spot on) and Matt Terry triumphed with his version of Mariah Carey's I'll Be There cover. Relley C got mixed comments for her version of Aretha Franklin's Natural Woman, but it certainly ticked the diva box.
Sharon Osbourne messes up again
The judges seemed a little less, how shall we put it, lubricated than they have in recent weeks - possibly because Nicole had a show to steal - but Sharon Osbourne still managed to get in a muddle, trying to soften the panel's critiques of Ryan Lawrie by pointing out that he's "only 17 years old". Except he's actually 20. Which basically means he's just not very good. Oh.
Shock criticism for 5 After Midnight
Slick urban trio 5 After Midnight are Louis Walsh's only real hope of getting an act to the final (there's no way girl band 4 Of Diamonds will last that long) but tonight they were a surprise flop.
Valerie was a rubbish song choice for them - they're normally kind of cool, but it made them cheesy. Simon Cowell was shockingly harsh with his criticism, channeling his inner Jeremy Kyle by telling them to "sort themselves out" because it was "terrible".
Previously they were just behind heartthrob Matt Terry as second favourites to win the show. Now they could end up in the bottom three. Oh X Factor, how you mess with our minds.
Saara Aalto might just have saved herself
The live shows have been a rough ride so far for Saara Aalto - she's been in the bottom three every week, and last Sunday her own mentor Sharon Osbourne couldn't even remember her name. But tonight she might just have turned things around by showing her quirky side.
She belted out Bjork's It's Oh So Quiet and delivered a kitsch, OTT performance which won over the whole panel. She definitely doesn't deserve to go home this week, but will the mere fact that she's not from round here stop people from voting for her, as she suspects?
It's Oh So Quiet isn't an easy song to "make your own"...
But Saara Aalto had a good crack at the Bjork classic. This kitsch, theatrical thing she's doing is much more joyful to watch than her previous run of cheesy power ballads.
"That was amazing!" gushes Louis Walsh, always a fan of an OTT production involving tan tights and glitter (maybe he's a judge on the wrong show...?).
"It was bonkers, it was bizarre and it was bananas!" adds Nicole, while Simon says it was "incredible".
All of which is an exaggeration, but it was quite fun. Could whatsername actually escape the bottom three this week?
Four Of Diamonds have a whiff of bottom three about them
Sure, they can sing OK but the judges are quite right about them not having enough attitude. When they sang "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?" it sounded like they were politely asking for their bill in Pizza Express.
Girl bands are often among the first to be voted off X Factor (apart from, obviously, Little Mix, who had just the right balance of girl next door fun and steely determination). Sadly we have a feeling this lot could join the likes of Belle Amie and Kandy Rain on the talent show girl band scrap heap sooner rather than later.
"Sounds like a John Lewis advert" is high praise these days
Emily Middlemas did one of those dainty Radio 1 Live Lounge versions of Whitney Houston's How Will I Know, and Louis Walsh thinks it could flog some overpriced baubles.
It was indeed very pleasant, though, and it's impossible not to warm to giggly Emily. She's got "will probably come fourth but go on to have a reasonably successful singing career" written all over her.
Finally someone sticks to the diva theme
Aretha Franklin: officially a diva. Relley C covering Natural Woman: officially a bit shaky, on account of poor Relley having a stinking cold.
She should've gone down the Honey G route and sung Bob The Builder or something.
The judges are being dead sympathetic though. Great voice this, nice girl that. Well, apart from Simon Cowell, who doesn't think it was memorable. If memorable means Honey G, we know who we'd rather watch...
Surely Honey G's time is up?
X FACTOR EXECS, THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE.
"Your flow is getting better each week," says Nicole. Has she been lending Honey G tampons? Because she can't mean the music.
At least Simon's comparing her to a horror movie.
Seriously though, we don't think this Under Pressure/Ice Ice Baby abomination was part of David Bowie's beautiful posthumous masterplan. The Honey G joke is so very over.
Matt Terry even got Sharon clapping along
Matt Terry, who, let's face it, is almost certainly going to win the thing, loves a high note, so of course he's done I'll Be There, by Mariah Carey and/or The Jacksons. Even Sharon Osbourne, who spends most performances looking like she'd rather be anywhere else (the bar?), was clapping along.
And man, did the judges gush afterwards. Despite all this, Matt is still, miraculously, likeable. Mind you, Olly Murs probably was at this point in the show.
Ah, this is why they subtly changed the theme...
Sam Lavery just boldly tackled Earth Song by Michael Jackson - definitely a legend, not really a diva.
But the judges are divided - Louis and Sharon loved it, Nicole says it was "forced". Obviously Simon thought it was great - he's Sam's mentor. Sam's seemed a bit middling over the series so far, but there's no denying she did an impressive job of a difficult song. We think she'll be alright this week.
Simon turns into Jeremy Kyle after 5 After Midnight's "terrible" performance
Nicole Scherzinger got it bang on - the trio have lots of energy, but Valerie wasn't a great song choice for them. It was a bit cheesy and a bit weak, and we expect more from this bunch, who've been among the favourites to win the show until now.
Simon Cowell's gone a bit further - he says it was terrible, even telling them, "Sort yourselves out!". Is he Jeremy Kyle now?
It's Fry and Laurie! Oh no, wait, it's Ryan Lawrie
Ryan, who narrowly escaped being booted off last week, is doing an OK version of Adele's Rolling In The Deep. It is fair to say it's not the most exciting thing we've seen on the telly today (there was a great episode of Hey Duggee on earlier).
Louis Walsh "didn't really like it", Sharon Osbourne just said Ryan's "only 17" even though he's actually 20 and Simon just blamed Ryan's dullness on Nicole concentrating on her own performance this week. Now who's the diva?
Still, these aren't the comments Ryan would've been hoping for tonight after a rubbish result last week too.
We're on - and did you notice they've subtly changed the theme?
Last week, the X Factor jukebox - which we thought was legally binding - revealed that tonight's theme would be divas, but Dermot O'Leary just referred to it as "divas and legends" week instead - might this be due to some of the acts struggling with the diva thing like, say, Honey G?
Do you know who doesn't struggle with the diva thing? Famed fragile wallflower Nicole Scherzinger, currently raising the bar and owning it and really bringing it and making the song(s) her own and blowing the roof off this place and taking it to church and looking like a popstar and sounding like a popstar and showing what this show is all about and giving it 110 per cent on Sch-stage.
This is the only X Factor Under Pressure cover we can get on board with
Like Honey G, they had a stupid catchphrase based on their names ("I'm John and I'm Edward. Together we're Jedward!") and, like Honey G, they made it to the X Factor live shows purely on novelty value. And yet Jedward were, somehow, far less annoying than Honey G - or are we just remembering them through rose-tinted spectacles, not to be confused with the silly mirrored wrap-around sunglasses that Honey G wears?
They too did an Under Pressure/Ice Ice Baby mash-up and, weirdly, it was one of the series highlights. Honey G will never top this.
Welcome to tonight’s X Factor live blog
“I say Isabel, you say M!” rapped no one ever but never the less, I am your hostess for the evening’s festivities, as the remaining X Factor hopefuls attempt to channel their inner Mariahs, Arethas and, er, Vanilla Ices for a diva-themed night of varyingly tuneful wailing.
On last weekend’s results show, little Freddy Parker was voted off, after winding up in the bottom three with Saara Aalto (whose name was forgotten by her effervescent mentor Sharon Osbourne) and Ryan Lawrie (whose name the entire British public haven’t really remembered yet).
This means that unconvincing rapper Honey G is inexplicably still in the running and tonight, in a calculated attempt to grab headlines on the part of the people who decide these things (I say Simon, you say Cowell?), she will be stomping on the graves of both David Bowie and Freddie Mercury by singing Under Pressure, with a Vanilla Ice twist. Pretty shameful stuff - no wonder Bowie's estate have apparently banned her from rapping over the main part of the song.
The rest of the acts’ song choices are, thankfully, far less grating. Here – spoiler alert! – is the list in full.
Matt Terry: I'll Be There by Mariah Carey
Ryan Lawrie: Rolling In The Deep by Adele
Emily Middlemas: How Will I Know by Whitney Houston
Sam Lavery: Earth Song by Michael Jackson
Gifty Louise: Lay Me Down by Sam Smith
Honey G: Under Pressure by Queen and Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice
Relley C: Natural Woman by Aretha Franklin
Saara Aalto: Oh So Quiet by Bjork
5 After Midnight: Valerie by Amy Winehouse
Four of Diamonds: Lady Marmalade (Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya and Pink interpretation) and Bang Bang by Jessie J, Arianna and Nicki Minaj.
An interesting selection. At Saara’s first audition, she seemed kind of quirky, but that’s morphed into Eurovision-style cheesiness in recent weeks. After two weeks running in the bottom three, tackling Bjork might just turn things around for her.
Four of Diamonds, however, could be in trouble. The girl band won public support last week when they stepped in at short notice to replace dodgy duo Brooks Way, but their song choices this week sound naff, especially compared to the classics some of their rivals are singing. Matt Terry is sure to nail the high notes on Mariah’s I’ll Be There, and the theme and song choices could work out pretty well for Sam Lavery and Relley C too.
The show starts at 8pm on ITV so do join in the fun right here. You can also tweet me your views @isabel_m_rene.